508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
