we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
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The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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