hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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