why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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