Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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