I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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