evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
