love makes seman taste better
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
