watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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