i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
