Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
