Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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