What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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