8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
