Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
