Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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