Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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