ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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