smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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