I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
