Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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