My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
