I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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