OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Everyone says I win the strip club
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
