fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
