I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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