I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
