dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
