Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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