Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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