i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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