Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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