Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
