mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
