If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
