What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Text me some of your sweat
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
