You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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