so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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