Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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