If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
