Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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