Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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