i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Who died my cat blue again?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
