All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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