Well douche your snatch and let's go!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
