when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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