I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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