did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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