if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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