this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
