did you get engaged???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
people are starting to question the shark bite story
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
