Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize