i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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