I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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