Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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