That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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