Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
