I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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