so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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