It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
