If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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