I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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