How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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