I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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