i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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