Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
