Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
